Are you gonna nail me on that cross? (says Gay Catering Director to Hot Jewish Dad of Bat Mitzvah party we are hosting)
“
He thinks I’m crazy. How do I fix it?
Maybe it’s because I’m schizophrenically paranoid or act like a complete porn star when I’m in his bed but I know he likes me. He just can’t figure out what the hell happened to me that I’m so fucked up emotionally. It’s like when we’re together all he’s thinking is that we definitely do not do this often enough but then he sees what a crazy emotional basket case I am bubbling underneath the surface and he’s thinking “whoaaa. She’s way too intense… I can’t do this…”
It’s like he’s my fucking Seinfeld moment. Oh mannn..
